My daughters routine disturbed?

I dont have an answer for the first bit of your post but i have an answer for the sencond bit. When my sister was a child I remember that my mum had to explain to her that her father had died. They had been very close and they were just like best friends. My sister found it very hard to deal with and admittitly she was very upset. It is never easy to deal with any sort of loss, espicially when your a child. So when my mum told her, she told her quite quickly and then tried to keep her busy, as to stop her from thinking about it. Hope this helped.